Your Mom is a Loser

Bought myself flowers. Wanna fight about it?

Because Tumblr is a pain in the ass.

Saw Insidious. First 20 minutes are pretty good, but the rest of the movie is garbage. Nonetheless, there is a scary tall man in a dark room standing still and upright in the darkness… which is utterly ruined by his purple paisley print tie.

Spoilerz!

… Not really.

My freakish feet are super grossing me out lately. It used to be that having stupid Barbie-like curvy feet (yes, that is my comfortable foot-at-rest position) wasn’t a huge deal, but shoving my fat little feet into dress shoes every day is turning them into horrifying dinosaur feet.

And what is it about dress shoes that make feet smell terrible? I could kill a kitten at twenty paces with a sock after a full school day. Back before I ate the definition of exercise, even work out socks smelled less awful. Maybe it’s my foot fat trying to escape!

I want to do this 100 day challenge thing too.

FACT 1: This picture makes me look less fat than I am, because I am craning my fat neck.

FACT 2: Fact 1 made me count the calories I ate today, in sadness.

FACT 3: A box of bagel bites with sausage and pepperoni only has 450 calories.

FACT 4: I will probably only do the first week of this 100 days challenge because I am wishy-washy.

FACT 5: The blood on the Final Girl’s arms during the chase scene in Texas Chainsaw Massacre was actually the girl’s real blood, drawn from the cuts she received as she ran through the woods.

FACT 5: That is called method acting.

FACT 6: Marzipan is made of almonds and angel tears.

FACT 7: Ceiling Cat is watching you.

FACT 8: When you decide that a person sounds ‘educated’ or not based on the presence or absence of vernacular dialects, you are being linguistically biased.

FACT 9: When your linguistic bias is based on whether or not that person’s dialect has qualities associated with a particular race, you are a RACIST.

FACT 10: The male and female romantic leads in the cult-hit movie ‘Freaks’ were actually brother and sister and part of a family touring midget troop.

FACT 11: Dell chargers are very cheap to replace, but blow out crazy-easy.

FACT 12: I like airplane food, and therefore cannot trust my taste buds enough to be a food critic.

FACT 13: The film ‘Gremlins’ is directly responsible for creating the PG-13 rating for movies. It garnered such complaints that Steven Spielberg, the executive producer, suggested its creation. This is why ‘Gremlins 2’ is much less violent but has the strongr PG-13 rating.

FACT14: Since watching ‘Gremlins 2’ a week ago, I have had an unhealthy obsession with froyo.

FACT 15: My favorite poem, ‘This is Just to Say’ by William Carlos Williams, was an actual note left on the fridge for his wife, who responded with another poem. It’s on Wikipedia, read it, it’s short.

Talking about colloquialism of the n-word- like who can/should use it and who can’t. This Whitey McWhitewashwhitebreadson raises her hand and goes “I’m Italian- okay, so like, I’ve never been to Italy, but me and my dad say like guinea and guido and then this one time someone who wasn’t Italian said guinea and I was like, oh, I don’t care, but I totes have ancestors like fresh off the boat.”

Newsflash, Princess!

EVERYONE HAS ANCESTORS OFF THE BOAT. UNLESS YOU ARE NATIVE AMERICAN AND NOT 1/100000th THE WAY EVERY WHITE BITCH CLAIMS TO BE DON’T COMPARE IT TO ACTUAL RACISM AGAINST PEOPLE OF A DIFFERENT RACE AND CULTURE BLLLLLLLLLLARRRRRRRRRGHHHHH!!!

… that is all.

Me. Going out mode. Veronica Lake hair an all. And my stuffed puppy, Magenta.

It is really dumb, but I was actually genuinely disappointed when my Co-teacher in the Student Teaching program told me I’m not allowed to make my own lesson plans anymore- I have to use the lame ones the department chairs write. I can still add an addendum so I can do my own activities, but the gist has to be the same.

Is it because I like having the practice? Is it because I am stubborn and dislike playing nicely with others? Is it because I am insane and developing into a workaholic?

Questions, questions.

I am pretty sure tumblr is a blog trying to be cool, like how Kleenex tries to be really hipster facial tissue. But fine.